"A Morsel from the Garden of Eden"

The first sentences are simplisitic in nature, which is perfect to start the story off and grab the readers attention. After pulling you in, the author then describes the basic scenario. Only the significant facts are presented, and many visuals are created by the author. Most memorable is when the grandpa laid eyes upon the cart full of goodies. The excitement within the man was well described by the author. There is no specific section of important dialogue, but there is dialogue throughout that helps set the scene. This story is easy to follow, and easily relatable to someone who helps take care of their grandparents. The conclusion completely ties the story together, and ends it with the humorous vibe that was apparent throughout. This story shows that the simplest of things can bring infinite joy to an individual; they only need to take time to appreciate what is in front of them.

"Once More to the Lake"

The introduction paragraph sets up the scene perfectly. He talks about his summer in 1904 at this camp on the lake, then sets the tone for his return, presently, with his son. The main focus of the story, in my opinion, are the sensory details of what the author experiences at this lake. Apparently important from the beginning, this lake holds dear memories for the author, and he wants nothing more to relive his youth and make new memories with his son. E.B. White gets down to very specific and minor details about everything his 5 senses gather. From the smell of wet wood in the mornings, to eyeing a family of menos swimming, to feeling the dusty paths on his feet. White engulfs any reader with his descriptive details. Not much dialogue is quoted, but it isn't necessary for this particular essay. Very apparent is how White's memories (and newly created memories) here have shaped his life, and who he is today. Any reader who's ever been camping, or spent time around a lake, can easily relate to the bliss experience by White. The conclusion is a stern ending, almost shocking. Not being what I expected at all, it serves well to conclude this memorable experience.

Diving into Personal Narratives

 The first paragraph, or introduction, does a good job at setting the tone for the essay "Me Talk Pretty One Day". I could already tell that it would be an offbeat and humorous essay. The next paragraph is also important for the introduction, giving you a few more important details about the story. Sedaris includes only details relevant to the story and creating an image in the readers mind. Details throughout the story make the reader feel they are sitting in the class with all of these students, being scolded and mocked by the teacher. I felt as if I was in the same boat as the author and other classmates, not understanding what was being said to me but feeling shameful for what was said. Sedaris makes good use of quoting others for emphasis, especially the French teacher. Seeing the teacher's full insults brought an authentic humor to the story. The story is well organized, and easily relatable. It just so happens I'm currently enrolled in a French 101 class, but luckily it isn't quite like this one. Sedaris does an excellent job at explaining the signifigance of all occurences within the story, tying it together perfectly in the conclusion. Through all the embarassment and scolding brought about by the teacher, Sedaris actually learned to understand French.

Sentence Variety

         Anxious to get to the shoe store, Sam got in her car and drove to the mall. Upon arrival she bought a pair of boots and a shoeshine kit. Afterwards, Sam went to the food court where she bought a burrito with onions and peppers on it.  She ate the burrito, then saw a cute boy over at the pretzel stand. The boy looked at Sam which in turn made her blush. The boy walked over to Sam, who said hi, causing the boy to wrinkle up his nose. Confused, Sam said hi again. Now gagging, the boy walked away leaving Sam shocked. Realizing she had bad breath, Sam ran to the bathroom and cried. She put on her new boots, shined them, and walked out of the bathroom. Now confident, Sam found the boy and told him he needed manners. Sam kicked him using her new boots and the boy fell to the ground. She walked away directly out of the mall.

Mechanics

I'll start off by saying that this chapter in Elements of Style is, and will be, extremely useful. When revising my paper, it will be a perfect reference chapter for fine-tuning.
  Although multiple principles are weak points of mine, using successions of loose sentences is one of the weakest. I also need to improve my skills in omitting useless words. With a little work, these principles will easily be added into my writing. Not only can I work on these as I'm writing a paper, but even more so when I am revising. Using an active voice and positive forms are other principles I will focus on when writing my next paper.
  Ironically, this entire chapter seems to be a list of principles that I've been lacking in my writing. Therefore, this is a great opportunity to advance my writing skills. While writing my summary paper, I did very well keeping to one tense. Admittedly, this is only because you made it a point that we did so.
  When going through the revision process, these principles should be easily noticeable if absent. With Elements of Style by my side, the revision work will be more successful and efficient.

Summary Revision Checklist

1. What is the thesis statement? Is it an accurate reflection of the author’s thesis statement? Is it stated in your own words? How could you refine it to be more clear
and concise?

 My thesis statement accurately reflects the original authors, in my own words, and it has been refined multiple times to be very clear.

2. How is the essay introduced? Do you mention the article’s title, author, purpose and

audience? Does it clearly set the tone for the paper and accurately reflect what is
discussed therein? Could it be improved?

 The essay is introduced by presenting a very brief background of the author and essay, creating the setting for when it was written. The title, author, purpose and audience are clearly stated. Pertaining to improvement, this student has done his best.

3. What are the main points of the summary? How do you recognize them? Do you

leave out minor points and repetitive points for emphasis? Most importantly, do you
leave out your own opinion, feelings or conclusions on the subject of the article?

 Main points can be clearly recognized if one has read the actual essay. Most minor and repetitive points have been left out, along with my own opinions and conclusions. Anything otherwise is purely nonintentional, and proper self-critique has been implemented, which is necessary to ensure fewer mistakes.

4. How is the essay organized? Does it follow the organization of the original article?

What transitions do you use? Think of some additional possibilities for more logical
organization.

 The summary essay is organized in the same fashion as the original essay, with minor variations throughout.

5. After your reading, can you say the thesis statement accurately reflects the topic and

focus of the essay? How is the essay concluded? What technique do you employ in
the conclusion? How is that effective or not?

 The thesis statement accurately reflects the topic and focus, and is concluded in the same fashion as the original. You can be the judge if my choice of technique was effective, or not.

6. Make sure to fix any major grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors.

 Done.

7. Is the sentence structure varied and interesting? Do you have any weak, overly

wordy, awkward, or confusing sentences? Does the essay strive to use active, direct,
present tense verbs?

 Any overly wordy sentences have been reduced, with no awkward or confusing sentences when self-reviewing. The essay uses the correct active & present tense verbs, with interesting sentence structure.

8. Were the textual passages (quotes and paraphrases) well-chosen? Remember you

should try avoiding direct quotations when writing a summary.

 Quotes and paraphrases were carefully chosen. There is one instance of an almost direct quotation, but in the end I decided it was a necessary element to the paper, a utterly important quote that describes to the best of its ability the situation of students described in this essay.

9. Is the essay written in third-person? Are all instances of first- and second-person

removed from the piece?

 Yes, and yes.

10. Is the draft two to three (2-3) pages typed, double-spaced? Are all the margins oneinch

(1”)?

 That they are.